Like all other human beings, you have an ego. It could be your friend or
it could be your enemy.
As a friend your ego gives you a sense of self, puts you in touch with your
basic humanity and empowers you with the humility to present yourself truthfully
to others. The power of humility is well demonstrated by Nelson Mandela who is
beloved and admired worldwide for his humility, great moral courage and
exemplary leadership. As an enemy, your ego, when inflated, has the power to
destroy your life. When you are taken up with yourself you begin to believe that
you are better than others and you are unable to see the good in them. You
display arrogance and are said to be egotistic or conceited. Your inflated ego
drives you to present yourself untruthfully. You sing your own praises and
flaunt your "greatness." You display hubris, come over as boastful and at times
you can be obnoxious to others. Your emphasis is on "I" rather than "we." With
an inflated ego you are insensitive to the needs of others and blind to the hurt
you inflict on them.
This can be particularly damaging to children when you are the parent; and to
those you supervise when you are the manager. Further, you have poor listening
ability and thus are unable to hear the complaints of others or the valuable
advice that others may be desperately trying to share with you. In that mentally
afflicted state, your wisdom and your knowledge are obscured. With an inflated
ego, lying easily becomes a habit. You lie even when there is no threat to your
ego and it is usually obvious to others that you are lying. Sometimes you are
trying your best not to look bad and other times you are trying too hard to look
good. Hence, you portray dishonesty and you are morally adrift. Also, with an
inflated ego you are unable to handle criticism and to acknowledge your
mistakes. You see criticisms as threats to your ego. You see insults, even when
they don't exist. You are likely to be frequently angry and to throw frequent
temper tantrums. You are emotionally unstable and more likely to be hostile,
aggressive and corrupt.
It is normally obvious to others that you are egotistic. They are puzzled as to
why you continuously display such stupidity in your beha- viours. Why isn't it
clear to you? Even children can see your ugly behaviour, as Gandhi reminds us in
his words: "The instruments for the quest of truth are simple as they are
difficult. They appear quite impossible to an arrogant person, and quite
possible to an innocent child." Egotism, like other negative emotions, destroys
your peace of mind and takes away your ability to reason. As a mentally
destructive emotion, egotism leaves you acting as a fool and you not being aware
of it. You are unable to see reality and to make reasoned decisions. It leaves
you blind and deaf to the world around you. You are deluded into believing that
you can do no wrong and that you are perfect. People dislike and hate you and
you are not even aware. You are unable to empathise with others. You are
foolish, but sadly, egotism tricks you into believing that you are smart and
wise. The Dhammapada tells us that: "The fool who knows that he is a fool is for
that very reason a wise man; the fool who thinks he is wise is called a fool
indeed."
When you are egotistic you become vulnerable to being exploited by others.
People can feed your ego by falsely telling you that you are better than you
are. You become even more swellheaded as more and more of these bootlickers,
yes-men and sycophants surround you, often with your active encouragement. You
become increasingly intoxicated with hubris as you become more dependent on the
adulation as an external stimulant. Your vision becomes blurred. After a while
you can really believe that you are as great as they falsely claim. You can
easily be carried away into a world of make-believe that exists only in your
mind. The journey back to reality can be sudden and dramatic and it is always
very painful. With egotism, you lose the ability to objectively look at yourself
and cannot see your own defects. Egotism takes away your power of self-control
and hence your emotional instability, which can veer towards what others may see
as a "state of madness." An inflated ego reduces your learning ability because
it fools you into believing that you already know and you feel that there is no
need to learn. You may even be totally dismissive of new knowledge.
Leadership educator and author, Manfred Kets Vries, captures the essence of the
intoxicating effect of egotism when he writes: "Egotism is the anaesthetic that
dulls the pain of stupidity. It may be an effective tranquilliser, but it
doesn't diminish the foolishness of hanging on to such a life strategy." Egotism
is your inner enemy—it destroys you from the inside. It makes you into a
dishonest fool, bumbling around in the darkness of life and oblivious to the
beauty of the people around you. Sadly, your own human potential remains
unfulfilled. The greater your ego the poorer your understanding of self and the
more distant you are from awareness of your true self. Conversely, the more you
surrender to your true self, the more you let go of the destructive forces of
the ego. The more you are aware of yourself, the more humble you become. With
humility you stand in awe of your inner self and your true intentions in life
because you are now spiritually connected. Humility is the only known cure for
egotism.
Humility arises from having a deep understanding of humanity, starting with
yourself. You need to take time to get to know yourself better and in so doing
it will open the door to get a better understanding of others, both within your
immediate social setting and across wider humanity. Introspection aids the
process. To have humility is to understand and to have interconnectedness with
other human beings. It is the capacity to love all human beings unconditionally.
It means sensing, feeling and living your spirituality. It is bringing out the
goodness and the Godliness in you. Humility is truth. You feel superior to no
one; inferior to no one—you are wholesome. You have integrity—you are honest.
You can be corrected without feeling insulted or rejected. You are able to
accept and learn from criticism. You can acknowledge your mistakes and your
shortcomings. You are a good listener, open to learning and teachable.
Humility empowers you with self-esteem and self-confidence. Great leadership is
a consequence. Humility will empower you and enhance the quality of your life
whether you are a parent, a teacher, a team captain, a university professor, a
soldier, a foreman, a medical doctor, a police officer, a school prefect, a
manager, a CEO, a minister of government, a minister of religion or a prime
minister.
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