' Romantic love '...

Romantic love is often based in egoic separation.

In the beginning of a romantic relationship, roles are often played. You play the role of the perfect mate in order to get the other person to play the same role. Before too long, the real egoic wanting behind the role playing starts to reveal itself. Arguments start to happen. The arguments appear on the surface to be about mundane, everyday things. But on a deeper level the unconscious beliefs that are operating during these arguments are, “You are not living up to the image I have of you,” “You are not filling my inner lack,” and “You are not providing the personal gratification I desire in this relationship.”

Egoic love is conditional. It is conditioned on whether the other person acts a certain way or says or does certain things that please you or that meet your mental image of the person. The ego is a set of conditions. See the mental conditions you are imposing on your partner and realize that unconditional love is who you truly are under all these conditions.

Unconditional love knows no lack and seeks nothing from the other. It simply loves. Unconditional love realizes itself automatically through presence, when there is a seeing through of the false roles that are being played, the conditions being imposed, and the desire for personal gratification in the relationship.



-Kiloby, Scott. Reflections of the One Life: Daily Pointers to Enlightenment