' i don't need to know '...

In awakening conceptualizing ends..

that's my experience.

Then a few years in the intensity of energy ramped up and got so much, so much pressure that there was resistance and terror because it felt like being annihilated.

Then it found resolution in a kind of dissolution that can not happen by an act of will.

(Which is what's so maddening about it), you can't do a thing to stop it or hasten it.

like a women giving birth or something.

Once it happens its a great relief, like energy released into the infinite in a total merger of energy and consciousness, of perceiver and perceived.

No more capacity for any distance since the source and the substance are the same.

But still it continued to uncover stuff particular to my psychological makeup.

Like attachment to a romantic partner and the suffering from that burnt out attachment to love..

suffering seems now to lead to the end of suffering, the process or whatever you call it just eats up the ignorance that perpetuated it.

I don't even know what's going on, i don't need to know.


- Michael McClure