Letting Go...

Q: That's not cutting it for me. I really need to focus, to let go, to make a shift. So I came here determined to make a shift somehow.



A: That'll kind of gunk things up a bit there. Not that the intention is any problem, you know, but you know as soon as we get determined that such and such is going to happen, a shift's going to happen or whatever then the self is working contrary to itself 'cause then we've taken the reins again. I can give lots of little 'try this try that' kind of thing but the bottom line is it's all about letting go, it's all about surrender and it's also about letting go of expectation. 'I had a big experience whatever last year or last retreat or whatever and, you know, that which you are, it's not expecting anything. It's not grasping anything. It doesn't want anything. It's not in anticipation.



It doesn't mean that it's blind. You can still have certain things arise, spur this action or that action, stoop this action or that action but ultimately when its coming from the deepest thing, undivided thing, it's spontaneous. So it's really just letting go, just letting go, just letting go, just letting go. 'It's not what I expected', letting go, letting go. That's the whole thing. That's the bottom line. 'It's not like it was.' Letting go, letting go.



It's sort of like the first time you ever had a great kiss. You get a really good first kiss. Maybe you get a good second or third kiss. But if you start thinking that it's the great kisses that love's all about, you're gonna miss what love's all about. The first kisses of realization, they're wonderful and they're beautiful and profound but if the mind stays in there saying, 'I want another kiss. I like the kiss. The kiss feels good. More, more, more.' There's no such thing as enough. So you get a few good kisses and then there can be the realization its not just about those ecstatic moments of profound seeing. It's not only about that. There's a depth to it. There's a silence to it. It's a surrender game.



That can be the difficulty for people because what is revealed is so enticing, that the illusion of us wants to grab it, wants more. Then the realization itself can become another cause of grasping. And it usually does. But then later you see that doesn't work to grasp. It's a surrender game though and through. Or more accurately you are surrendered, through and through.



Q: So can I ask for homework?



A: That's the homework. It's not a technique. There's no technique to this. It's not, 'okay here I 'm going to do it.' It's the spontaneous willingness. That's what it is. That's what I mean by it's the letting go of the personal will, even though there isn't a person, ever though there isn't personal will, you let go of it anyway. That's why phrases like what we've spoken of before, "Thy Will Be Done." It was my mantra for years. It just sort of chose me and from the Absolute of the Absolute it doesn't make any sense but nonetheless as I said this isn't about not duality, it's about nonduality. And that's the sense of it, that's the feel of it. That's the continual giving over of the illusion of any personal will, anything that's separate. It's the sense of it. It's not really a technique. It can't be faked. It can't be constructed. It just comes to you. So I'm not really even telling you to do it. But possibly, who knows, just through this conversation, it may be, it may not be, it may be part of it appearing in you life, in your consciousness. It's not just all about realization. The realization engenders a total letting go. That's what it's about. The realizations either causes us to grasp or they are that which allows a deeper letting go.




Adyashanti - Omega 2007