Adyashanti...

REVOLUTIONARY TYPE OF LOVE: The way we are taught to relate to love is in such a way that it BINDS us. Because the love that we are taught primarily around us that we see in our commercials, in our movies, in our sitcoms and the people around us is this love that is concerned with coming together. And we don't usually associate this idea of coming together with anything negative, which is the power of it. It is another unfortunate thing about how we see love in our culture. In ancient times they saw love in a much wider view. The ancient greeks could see that love could be something wonderful and amazing but they also knew that the Goddess Aphrodite could be quite cunning and deceptive. And we don't have much space in our culture for the cunning and deceptiveness of love as we are taught it. The sad thing that the love we are taught is quite deceptive and cunning and it actually leads us into a deeper state of unconsciousness, because it is a love that is synonymous with wanting, desire, seeking fulfillment, losing oneself, ---there is nothing wrong with it, it is a particular type of love, it is the love we know.

When you see something or someone and you want them at whatever level you want them that is power of love that is trying to bind you to them, attach yourself to them like a barnacle to a boat. And don't misunderstand me, it is lovely (laughter). Sometimes we find that the boat does not want the barnacle (laughter). But if you really look at it that is the kind of love we are taught to to worship and to expect and to think this will bring us satisfaction, that this will sooth the yearning of the human heart. And off course it is deceptive because for a while it does sooth the yearning of the human heart, it works temporarily . It is remittent reinforcement because you get the feeling of being temporarily whole and complete and while that is happening you forget about the rest of the story. You forget the desire part and the neediness and the wantingness and the after effect that whatever binds you is intimately linked with feeling separate and other than.

So it is a bit unfortunate this notion of love that comes down to us. Because if this is all we know of it then we are setting up ourselves to be deceived. This love that binds you together and you lose your senses. It is a cunningness, it is an unconsciousness that we all have been swept into, at some point, you think how did I get here? This isn't what it promised to be? It felt more right than anything!

That is what the ancients knew.. Like in Greece they had a certain respect, the idea that it can be very deceptive and cunning and pull us into confusion. If it wasn't for that you wouldn't be here, unless mom and dad were not drawn tighter in grasping love we would not be here. So its not good or bad. Nothing is really good or bad, it is how you see it.

So we have to borrow other words from other cultures to have a bigger view of love. Agape is a selfless love. Agape is a love without need or want, it is a love that flows out of fullness; rather than a love that is looking for fullness or wholeness. It flows out of fullness. And one can not fake Agape. This is the kind of love Jesus was talking about: Love your neighbor as yourself; that is Agape. Our love is "possess your neighbor as yourself" then scratch your head and wonder why we have a 50% divorce rate---expect your neighbor to fill up yourself. But agape is something quite different. Agape comes from a wholeness. And it is an outflow rather than a gathering. Rather than a desire being satisfied. Because all spiritual teachings have said that the greatest impediments to our spiritual realization is desire.

Everyone thinks they know what desire means. I want this or I want that. Desire and aversion. But the amazing thing in our culture is that we worship Desire. Whether it is a desire for a human being or gadget or toy. if it wasn't for desire our economy would come to a screeching halt, the whole world would come to a screeching halt. It comes from when we are identified from our exterior nature, our incarnation. That is what incarnation wants, it seeks union, it seeks joining. Because our incarnated nature is not wrong, it has unfathomable beauty that we can only see when we wake up to a different kind of life. So this incarnated nature we have sense a certain incompleteness. If it was not incompleteness we would not be on a spiritual path.

It comes from a simple forgetfulness. We forget that what we really are is pure immortal spirit. Incarnation does that, you forget it quickly, And as soon as you forget it you feel that yearning, that wanting, and the first place we go to address it is Desire. This will solve it, that will solve it, that person will solve it, this person will solve it. I got my 800 inch TV; I am happy (laughter). But not for long, huh?. Maybe a night or two. Then it just another appliance in the house and that is how it all goes. It is funny, it can never be satisfied.

In Buddhism they have this image of a Hungry Ghost and the hungry ghost is talking about you and me. When we forget what we are we become a Hungry Ghost. And the Hungry Ghost is depicted with hits head back its stomach is bottomless so no matter how much it gets it wants more, it is never satisfied. Now this is why spiritual teachers for 1,000s of years have said to people in their own way to not count on your desires to make you happy. To try to stop desiring is the stupidest thing because to try to stop desire is more desiring. It does not help to look at it that way. It is perfectly okay to have that desire, that wanting to join, to want to be close, intimate, there is nothing wrong with it, it is part of your incarnation. But also don't forget that everything is a double edge sword. What is so beautiful and amazing, this ability to join and become close has its counterpart, the ability to deceive, the ability to go unconscious. And so you can't just throw that desire out the window, because it does not work like that, but when you have been through enough cycles and something in you is starting to go "the next thing is not going to do it". But there will still be that desire. It is the same thing as our desire for God--it is the desire to be possessed, to disappear into the Beloved and that is used to draw us in also. But you can disappear a thousand times into the arms of the Beloved and want to disappear again. If you know what you are doing then it is a beautiful game, it is fine, if you are not looking for completion and satisfaction in it. If you see no ultimate separation between you and the other, between you and God.

Our Agape comes from our essence. And our essence comes from an outflow. Off course it has its own exquisite beauty to it. What we think of love is something we love or desire or disappear into and --Agape instead is an outflow, a selfless outflow that only comes from our essence. It is more of an overflow than our human nature would need, infinitely more. And when you meet anything in that kind of love that kind of devotion it is a totally different kind of love. It is a love with no grasping, no fear, no "I need". You have probably touched this at times---this outflow, or it can be a sense of your own wholeness and completeness for no reason whatsoever. Most people would be terrified with that type of love, because it does not need you, it does need to possess you, it doesn't need to to hold on to you, it does not need to plug into you like an electric socket to get what it needs. IT is a love that stands on its own and it is completely full and complete. It comes from a direct experiential knowledge of its true nature. There is nothing more beautiful than somebody recognizing their fullness. The other type of love is still available, it still happens, but then it is more like a celebration than a seduction. One is not doing it to get anything back, it is just fun. So it not like you lose the other thing, or that you have to lose the other thing, you just loose your grasping, your commitment to this deficient love that we are sold and taught. And we spend a good portion of our lives trying to figure out why it hasn't worked: "You haven't made me happy, what is wrong with you? You haven't made me whole, let me find another" There is nothing in life more sweet than someone finding their freedom from you, it is the most beautiful thing in the world.

The fullness of spirit is the overflow, where you have got more than you need. And it is there within everybody, it is just recognizing your own essential nature, your own divinity. Because really, truly, everyone is a divine immortal spirit and I try to point that out all the time. That within that body of incarnation and conditioning and karma that it carries around, that it is filled to the brim with your true nature. That spiritual essence is everywhere. But it is very much like love, if you look in all the wrong ways and all the wrong places you will never be satisfied but if you look in the right way and in the right place, if you look inside for what is already whole, that unobstructed consciousness. Call if whatever you want consciousness, spirit---that inside you that is unconditioned, already pure, it is just waiting for your recognition, your devotion. Am I really devoted to that silent and complete, bright and radiant No-Thingness? Do I give it the slightest glance? What matters to humans most is where we put our attention. What you value is what you put your attention on. And if you are not putting your attention on it don't feel bad because that is another form of self-deception. If shame and guilt worked then I would be all for it, but it doesn't work. Is what you are putting your attention on satisfying? When you see it is not satisfying then quite spontaneously you will become devoted to something else.

It is just seeing what really bring fulfillment? And if you stay with this unobstructed unconditioned consciousness---don't look to your mind, your mind is conditioned to the hilt---if you really start putting your attention on the unconditioned (silent) part of you it will come alive. It really will. Just dwell on that. And then at some point it will start to flow out. And it some point you will start to see that spiritual essence every where you look. Look from the heart.

(ADYASHANTI)