All of This for Nothing ...

Was I always so
luscious? Did I gleam and
ripple, without adornment, like
the sparkling sea?
Every cell in my body
dancing! Shining
from the inside with
a light that comes from
nowhere.

Pinned to the moment
like a butterfly, no longer anywhere
else to go. Candle flickering inside
my heart, breath of my child
breathing me. Heart
thickly laden with invisible fruit, joy
beaming from my eyes.

Something broke inside, something laid down,
exhausted from the struggle, and
died. Whatever I gave
myself to then has flowered
inside and
taken over, turning
my home into night sky.

I cannot tell
you, where I have gone,
where I am going. As the darkness
took me, the road disappeared
behind, and ahead,
nothing.

Only walking through now and always
now. All of this
for nothing! With the entire universe
lovemaking
inside me, I have stopped
asking anyone
for anything.

.......
Jeannie Zandi