To have "IT"...

From time to time, notice how your periods of
great spiritual insights and clarity are often
followed by periods of great spiritual doubt and
confusion, and that these seemingly opposite
states fluctuate randomly back and forth
throughout your entire life.

The ever-growing possibility of "no-thing-ness"
will compel you, again and again, to lose your
focus. In order to continue your playful pretending,
you pull back at the very last moment and sabo-
tage yourself from full awakening.

But, in truth, you're only playing with your Self.

Have you ever watched how a cat first catches
...and then seems to carelessly release…the
same mouse, again and again?

First the cat has it...and then he pretends that
he doesn't have it. Again and again.

Likewise, you seem to have "IT."

And then, you pretend that you don't have "IT."

Bu...it's all really OK.

After all, nobody wants a good movie to end.

- Chuck Hillig

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Seeds for the Soul
Chuck Hillig
Black Dot Publications, 2003