Emotions in Relationships...

Myth: "It's never as good as in the beginning."

You may be attracted to someone when you first meet but it may be on
a physical level mostly. When the excitement of that original feeling
fades, you may feel something is wrong with the relationship. In
actuality, you only misunderstood the meaning of relationships.

As in all types of relationships, the purpose of romantic
relationships is to learn who you are in relation to the person
you're with. Our potential for knowing ourselves is hidden, awaiting
discovery.

Your emotional relationships are part of the perfect process. They're
no different from experiencing peace in relation to stress, satiation
to hunger, and so on. Romantic relationships offer opportunities to
re-discover and share Love by experiencing compassion, kindness,
unity, and acceptance, as opposed to the negative feelings and
situations that you've had before or after. All experiences help you
define and re-discover who you are.

Romantic relationships also help us remember self-security. As
physical beings, we often feel vulnerable when these relationships
begin. We may feel exposed, because we don't want to lose our
new "partner". But our Spiritual Self is invulnerable, and we may
learn how invulnerability feels compared to the illusion of
insecurity.

By understanding the purpose for romantic relationships and accepting
the pain along with the pleasure, you stop placing demands on, and
judging, your partner. This allows you to enjoy each moment of a
relationship for what it brings. And, being nonjudgmental is more God-
like.

Myth: "My partner completes me."

God didn't need to create more than one human being to experience the
physical form. That would have been enough if it were the only
purpose for our creation. The true purpose is to find out who we are
and that our true nature is Love, which must be expressed to be
enjoyed. We need others to do this. Our "partners" help us share
Love, which lets us experience what that feels like.

As valuable as others are for our re-discovery, they don't "complete"
us. We don't need Love from another if we have Love within and for
ourselves. The Love we share with others helps us know what Love is,
by experiencing and letting others experience it as well.

I've heard many happy couples say, "I found the person who completed
me". I've also counseled individuals who once believed this, and now
feel "incomplete" because of a break-up. They placed the burden of
becoming whole on another rather than themselves, and felt the pain
in doing so. We are not incomplete in any way. When we look at
another as someone we need to complete us, we assume a position of
inferiority. As such, we don't acknowledge that the Almighty already
gave us everything. Feeling incomplete limits our ability to realize
true happiness.

You'll look forever if you look for true happiness outside yourself.
The happiness you think a companion brings you is no different than
any other illusion. True happiness, just like true Love, is attained
only from within. When you place demands on others to make you happy
or complete, you ask the impossible. Once you're loving and happy
with yourself, you allow others to see and share the real you, the
whole you: body, mind, and spirit.

When you remember you're whole as a spiritual being, you are secure
in every relationship. You benefit from what others bring you, but
never feel you'd "lose" something if things went wrong.

This article was excerpted from

"Relax, You're Already Perfect: 10 Spiritual Lessons to Remember" by
Bruce D Schneider, Ph.D.