Was it not the sense of ‘I am’ that came first? Some seed
consciousness must be existing even during sleep, or swoon. On
waking up the experience runs: ‘I am-the body- in the world’. It
may appear to arise in succession but in fact it is all simultaneous,
a single idea of having a body in a world. Can there be the sense of
‘I am’ without being somebody or other?
2
Go deep into the sense of ‘I am’ and you will find. How do you
find a thing you have mislaid or forgotten? You keep it in your
mind until you recall it. The sense of being, of ‘I am’ is the first to
emerge. Ask yourself whence it comes or just watch it quietly.
When the mind stays in the ‘I am’, without moving, you enter a
state, which cannot be verbalized, but which can be experienced.
All you need to do is to try and try again. After all the sense of ‘I
am’ is always with you, only you have attached all kinds of things
to it- body, feelings, thoughts, ideas, possessions and so on. All
these self-identifications are misleading, because of these you take
yourself to be what you are not.
3
The ‘I am’ is a useful pointer; it shows where to seek, but not what
to seek. Just have a good look at it. Once you are convinced that
you cannot say truthfully about yourself anything except ‘I am’,
and that nothing can be pointed at, can be your self, the need for
the ‘I am’ is over- you are no longer intent on verbalizing what you
are. All definitions apply to your body only and to its expressions.
Once this obsession with the body goes, you will revert to your
natural state. We discover the natural state by being earnest, by
searching, enquiring, questioning daily and hourly, by giving one’s
life to this discovery.
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