' I got it, I lost it '...


You are sitting on your porch and it is seen that all there is, is ‘This.’ There is no one there measuring whether this current experience is good or bad or better than some other past or future experience. In that moment, time stands still. The utter beauty and simplicity of ‘what is’ is realized. The story of self falls away. Then you go about your day and notice at some point that the peace left. The dream of self is back.

The sense of “I got it” is identification with a particular experience. It is the false belief that reality is supposed to look a certain way and that, when that certain way appears, you’ve somehow “got it.” The sense of “I lost it” is when the mind believes it has to get back to that experience once the experience is gone. This is a trap. All experiences are temporary. To continue looking for some past experience is to keep the search alive.

Enlightenment just means the recognition that whatever is appearing now is a perfect expression of awareness. The dream self can never recognize this because its only goal is to keep the time-bound story alive—to keep the search going. See that the trap of “I got it” and “I lost it” is the mind’s way of keeping that search going. That seeing allows the oscillation between “I got it” and “I lost it” to fade.



-Kiloby, Scott. Reflections of the One Life: Daily Pointers to Enlightenment

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