' Enabling '...

The key practice when experiencing fear, depression, anxiety, and these other debilitating states; is to accept that they are present but never pledge your allegiance to them.

Keep a small room in your heart for them and do not turn them into an enemy; but do not enable them by giving them your attention which only energizes them.

Anyone who has lived with an alcoholic or an addict will know that feeling of enabling because you want to love them and see them changed.

Fear is fear, depression is depression, anger is anger; you are not going to change them into something else by holding them close like little children.

The best way to handle an addict is to be fair but firm and do not give them the time of day until they seek to change themselves.

Until then, you remove yourself from the situation, ask them to leave, or have them escorted out. This does not mean you do not love them, rather you are allowing for true love to exist without enabling a false love based on the desire to change the reality.

One’s emotions, feelings, states of mind etc, must be dealt with in the same manner. Acceptance but not enabling under the false pretense that spending time with them is somehow going to change them.



-Atreya Thomas